“Look, Jane.  There’s Mr. Dracula,” Said Dick. 

“Oh, Oh, Oh,” said Jane. “What will we do now?”

“Let’s run away,” said Dick.  “Fast.” 

“Yes, Dick,”  Jane said.  “We will run away fast.” 

“But not fast enough, you little bastards,” Mr. Dracula the Vampire said.  “I have been waiting a long time to sink my teeth into your tender carotid arteries.  I will suck every last drop of blood from your pink little middle-class bodies.”  

Questions for review

1.  Do you think Dick and Jane ran fast enough to get away from Mr. Dracula?

2.  How many pints of blood do you think Dick and Jane contained?

3.  What would happen to Mr. Dracula if he didn’t suck out every last drop of their red, delicious blood? 

4.  Would you like to be a vampire someday? 

5.  If Dick and Jane are bastards, what does that say about their Mother and Father?  What other lies do you think you may have been told today?